When lockdown started, I made a commitment to myself that I would be a different person when it ended. Have you ever done something like this?
Having made this commitment, I recognised that part of me did not always want to change. We get comfortable with where we are and who we think we are, even if we do not like it! Sometimes, when my energy is low, I recognise that it feels easier to react in the old way, even though I know it does not work and I may feel bad afterwards.
When this happens, compassion to ourselves is the best answer. Because, as human beings, we are always doing the best that we can in each moment.
What I have come to realise however, is that I want to do and feel better!
Part of this has been the realisation that when I react quickly without thinking, I am doing so because in the past I made my experiences mean something that may not be true. For example, when I was about 8 months old, my parents had to leave me in hospital, as I was quite ill. Apparently, I held out my arms to them, but they had to walk away and leave me there. My interpretation of this was a feeling of rejection and being unlovable. Subsequently, when people seemed to turn away, the old feeling of rejection resurfaced. I would either then reject them as well and walk away, or do anything I could to get them to like me. At the time, my parents were not rejecting me – they were trying to help me. However, my feeling and interpretation of the event had unconsciously affected my life and was re-enacted, time and again.
Now, through wonderful release and healing work, instead of responding through the old feeling of rejection, I have found myself set free. This took wise and loving practice, which continues as an ongoing commitment to my Self to stay present and feel the Presence: my Source, God.
Albert Einstein famously said, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again – expecting different results.” I certainly experienced this without knowing why.
However, we can bring the new light of understanding on what is happening. It takes conscious effort to do so and step up, as it were, to be our True Self. Yet we can say ‘Yes’ to who we truly are and want to be.
Jesus said in John 8:32, “… you will know the truth and the truth will make you free.” What is the truth? We discover this in ourselves and for ourselves. Perhaps this is our life journey and experience - to discover our truth and live it. For me, it is that we are each radiant beings, who have forgotten what we are, yet are seeking to remember.
This was what was calling me. Further, I knew that my effort, attention and energy was needed to stay the path. I really wanted to be free and be the happiest and healthiest Self I could possibly be.
The journey is still ongoing; will probably always be ongoing as we awaken to our beautiful, luminous, creative Selves. Below I share some of my realisations that may support you:
In the Gospel of John, Jesus as the Christ energy spoke about being the way, the truth and the life. This powerful revelation became the guidance and inspiration that changed Saul to Paul, leading him to create and support communities around the Mediterranean Sea to encourage others to know the same.
Building spiritual community is becoming very important to me now. We are all on this journey of remembering and awakening to who and what we are. Charles Fillmore (Unity co-founder with his wife Myrtle) spoke of us all searching for God, even if we do not know it. For me, this is the search for Love, which is ‘who and what we already are’.
So let us come together to encourage, support and recognise the radiant, beautiful, creative beings that we are. To bring our vulnerability and doubts yes, knowing we can release them, to truly shine, love, create and share the joy we are here to live and experience together. Let us set ourselves free.