Love is Action

​From the stories of our childhood to the epics of literature, love is often portrayed to us as a lightning bolt. A whirlwind of love and passion that will enter our lives and suddenly make everything all better. A narrative that tells us we need to constantly prove our worthiness and embody perfection in order to obtain and hold on to “the one”. The one whose job it is to constantly keep us in a state of happiness. The reality of this fairy tale is often problematic. Nobody gets it right every day. Even the most committed partnerships disagree and argue. Even the most emotionally self-aware partners can get wrapped up in their baggage or their un-met needs.

​The truth is, relationships cannot always meet our lofty expectations and sometimes this causes us to feel hurt. When we encounter this, we may start to doubt love and our relationship to it.
 
Perhaps the belief that love is a feeling, an emotional state to be achieved, that we either “have it” or are “in it” needs a radical rethink. Let’s try this instead.
 
Love is action. Not a feeling. A choice that we make when we care not just about the outcome for ourselves but for the whole. It is complex connection, not just to any one person, but to the all attributes that make us both human and divine. It is empathy. It is the ability to commit to radical emotional responsibility and to keep trying, even when things get tough. It is embracing the idea that there are always two sides and to strive for the happiness of all parties. When we start to see love as a set of actions we can release ourselves from it needing to feel perfect every second of every day. Embracing what is truly real.
 
Forget the master plan on how to get love. Go out there people and “do” love. 
 
Stefanie Bridges
Unity administrator and student