My experience of God, by Alice Deacon

I've never replied to unity Maidenhead before but I just loved what was being discussed in the thought for the week and you asked how does someone experience God and I loved that question. So my answer is this.....
 
For some context I've pretty new to faith. My world as I knew it crashed into a million pieces and I was completely lost. I didn't know what to do but knew who I was before was gone there was no going back. I turned to Jesus with open hands reluctantly but I didn't know what else to do. I had used up my will and I was lost. 
 
I've never known anyone to come down, save me and be with me and comfort me like this. I've never known light and love like Jesus and most of this happened on my own in my bedroom on the floor balling my eyes out! If it hadnt, I wouldn't have known of God's love I wouldn't have known that if we are willing to step past ourselves and to seek we will be bought in to the love of Christ. There is nothing higher than that, it is life itself. 
 
How God expresses himself has just been a continuation of light and love that he showed me in those first encounters. I can see there was a lead up to that, I see where he was throughout my life and I had to break, I had to surrender to let God in. 
 
I experience God by seeing the light in others as long as I'm not in my head which is ongoing. I can see the absolute beauty in every human that I meet every living being. It radiates from me I can feel this rush that comes from my body and it goes out like radiation to other people around. I get to see the parts that people are hiding from God their 'sin' as it's were. However I see it as the defenses that they learn when they didn't feel safe in this world generally from a young child. I see the light I see the shades I see the parts that they are trying to shut away I see it all because God has started to show me all those parts in me. 
 
I get to experience god through singing and praising him with other people and seeing the walls fall down in those moments it might be brief but in those moments everyone is with God and my days is it a sight to see!
 
I believed from young age that being me wasn't okay, I came to god with my hands open as I said broken saying 'God don't you wish I was different, better, don't you wish I have more money do you wish my life was sust don't you see how broken I am' and what I heard back every single time I said that was I love you for who you are as you are....I love you for who you are as you are on repeat. This broke through those walls that I'd been holding onto for protection which had actually kept me away from feeling real love, love from God from others and from myself. Due to this God has given me a heart for others and also to make a relationship with Jesus more accessible. I never knew church life I wasn't bought up with any of the language that I'm now getting used to and all I can do is continue to turn to Jesus as a child and say what do you want me to learn today? what do you want me to know? I also say please give me a minute let me get out the way so you can shine. 
 
God isn't a distant being far away just the opposite. If you make yourself available, are you willing to put aside everything you thought you knew about the world and how you thought the world had to be to be safe. You actually see God's glory in all its multicolors. I didn't know what I was signing up for at all but I wouldn't change a thing and I continue to ask God to show me the path that he has for me and continue to help me to step aside and to work with him, alongside him and to continue to share his love with people that are struggling.
 
Thank you for giving me the opportunity to write this and to see God's absolute Glory